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The roof islow and the flat is dark. When Poppy flicks the lights on, I see it'slittle more than a bedsit. There's a mattress on raised platform for abed, but there's no bedding. There is also a little table with two seatsand a small kitchen. I crash on the bed realising I haven't sleptproperly since Swansea. Poppy disappears into the kitchen and comes backwith a 'burner' style mobile phone. She plugs the charger into a wallsocket and then begins charging it. Then she comes and lies next to me onthe bed. I put my head on her shoulder and we hug. Neither of us speaks.I must have dozed off because when I wake up the sun has risen. Poppy issitting on the edge of the bed typing something into the phone."What are you doing?" She jumps a little when I speak."Just texting Julia," she replies, turning to me. "She's driving aroundtrying to make sure no one is following her."The thought of seeing Julia fills me with hope. It seems such a long timesince we were together. The minutes seem to. Like me and Paul were compatible? I wondered. We'd been together years and look what happened to us, but that was just marriage. I guess they have to be a little more careful about who they send down to the Antarctic. Like we might break the earth or something.The psych stuff was the only thing I was worried about. Because I know I'm depressed and borderline paranoid/schizo, even with all the pretty pills I take. If they found that out, I was screwed! So I hid it good. I acted like everything was juuuuuust fine! All the time. I smiled and said hi, and when I really felt like hacking someone to pieces, I didn't do it! Nope, I didn't ... I was really sweet. Even to myself.Even the questionnaires and the ink blots and all the tricky things they tried, I didn't fall for it. You see the trick is that you pretend you're human. I'd tell myself, okay rache, you're an actress and you're playing a human. You have to have feelings now. You have to really care what other people think. You have.
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